Lent 04: The Prodigal Son & The Older Brother

Early in his sermon, Tim said, “to be human is to be self-alienated.” He was speaking about the unavoidable universal experience of humans disavowing (or, sort of, ignoring and being in denial about) parts of ourselves that don’t fit with the projected images of ourselves that we embrace as our self-concept. He went on to say that to be human is to be a bundle of contradictions - even to ourselves. And that our persistent self-alienation shapes the way we show up in the world. Later, when looking at the story, Tim pointed out that, before the prodigal son could be reconciled with his father and community, he is first reconciled to to an aspect of his own identity from which he’s been estranged. First, how do you respond internally to the idea that you don’t know yourself as thoroughly as you might hope? How easy is that to accept? How do you feel about that fact? How interested are you, in general, in learning and recognizing more about yourself? For some it may feel difficult, daunting, scary, interesting, exciting, or something else entirely! How does the prospect feel for you? How motivated are you to engage intentionally in self-discovery of this sort? How do/would you go about it? What barriers have you encountered to the process? Have you had experiences in which, like the prodigal son, you have a sort of “aha moment” in which you recognize a previously unknown truth about your self or personality? Or have you been a witness to a similar experience in someone else’s life? If so, share about those experiences and, if possible, what the precursors to those moments were.

Tim said, at several points in his sermon, that “All exiles are self-imposed.” Thinking about the spiritual part of our lives, what does exile look like? How would you identify spiritual exile within your own life? Is this something you’ve experienced personally? Is it something you’ve witnessed in others? How do we go about recognizing this self-imposed nature of exile while coming from a place of compassion, rather than of judgement? Does engaging with this idea compassionately feel easier or harder to do with self than with others? What do you make of that?

Tim talked about the response of the older brother, and related it to the way in which we can use religion to reinforce our “carefully curated and highly defended identities as good little boys and girls.” In this paradigm, the idea of God’s joyful and unconditional embrace of all of humanity into God’s love and family can be upsetting. He pointed out that the story’s older brother has built his sense of self and worth around the idea of having worked to earn both his father’s love, and his position in the father’s household. When the father’s unhesitating embrace of the prodigal pairs with the father’s equally open embrace of this elder son, it throw’s the older brother’s sense of things into a tailspin. How much do you relate to this older brother? Or do you relate more to the prodigal? In what ways? Have you or do you feel any resistance to the idea that a fortune-squandering, family-shaming child of God is as fully beloved and appreciated as God’s perfectly performing children? If you can, think of someone you know who has perhaps squandered some fortune that could have been yours or who has shamed your family or loved one. Do you feel resistance to the idea of that person/those people as fully as beloved and appreciated as God’s perfectly performing children? Does putting someone real into that question impact your sense of resistance at all? If so, how? What do you make of your answer?